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The day I felt like I was that kid from Home Alone……..

Posted on 19 April 2016
The day I felt like I was that kid from Home Alone……..

After a very successfully meeting of people in London, where there was a lot of agreement to my ‘working together, sharing good practice and ideas in order to help each other’ approach to work, I find myself having a day completely to myself – a day where I could do anything I wanted! Now people who know me very well will understand that this is a difficult thing for me to actually do because I have always been there to help other people, helping others before helping myself! The doing something for myself without feeling selfish has been a hard challenge for me, however today was brilliant!

Sunday was supposed to be a day to plan, schedule, and work on some changes for the business, scheduling social media posts, write a few blogs, make plans for the future working with others….. however I decided that first of all I would have a little adventure. My intention was to get from my place of stay to Camden Market, have a mooch around, then come back and settle down to make use of my quiet time. It didn’t happen like that…..

The day started with bright sunny happy sunshine, and on my way to get the bus to Camden, in the very close distance was the entrance to a park with water fountains and I found myself wandering over there to investigate.  I found myself strolling through Kensington Gardens, enjoying the sounds of the water fountains in the Italian Gardens, a walk along the Serpentine Lake and a stroll through the Diana Memorial Fountain, which then led into Hyde Park. Having a bright and sunny day to wander, listen to surroundings and to carry out my favourite pastime of people watching – I smiled a lot, enjoying the peace, I did however, resist the opportunity to hire a deck chair in the park. There were lots of runners, some running with their little dogs, not big dogs, there were people on roller blades, scooters, cyclists, grown-ups playing with their small people, the small people were giggling, swans flying and then coming into land with the flapping of their wings on the water and of course the sounds of other creatures which sounded like they were laughing themselves!

As I was walking, observing, contemplating I did feel like that kid from Home Alone, except I was in London…. On my own….. and I survived to tell the tale! Sometimes I amaze myself and this is certainly no exception. Usually I am a follower – I don’t know where I want to go, what I want to do, where I want to eat – I am usually happy to go with the flow. For those who really know me will also know that I have absolutely superb navigational abilities and an impeccable sense of direction. Not only that but being around lots of people and around lots of noise makes me really anxious and I become quiet, nervous, scared of getting lost, tearful, in a panic and much like I want to turn round and go into the quiet shadows again for safety.

However this visit to London I had no choice! I was on my own in the big old noisy city of London. Just me with my backpack…..

Usually being somewhere different on my own makes me think, thinking is usually dangerous for me as it brings around a lot of negativity from my past, unhelpful thoughts which then make me feel like I am not worthy, not important,  like I must have been a bad person to have ended up in the situations I have been! Feeling like a failure. Sunday was different! I got to thinking about conversations I have had with people recently, I heard the words of encouragement, being described as ‘a breath of fresh air’, people seeking my advice and expertise – comments of positivity and compliments and this time instead of brushing this positivity and praise away as if it was nothing – I smiled to myself, I appreciated those thoughts and words from people and acknowledged that I AM worthy! I AM a nice person! I AM allowed to do something just for me without feeling guilty. I even began to think about the cyclists and wondered if this might be something I could venture into?    Hmmmm….. ok then…. If I had a bike with 4 wheels, I might have a chance of staying upright….. Given my other excellent achievement of possessing superb balancing skills!)

My favourite things from my day of peace are that I successfully navigated myself through Kensington Gardens and then through Hyde Park (although people were not making much effort to hide…..) had a thoughtful wander through The Diana Memorial, endless people watching, and not only that I managed to navigate myself to Camden Market, had a browse with the people, returned to the hotel near Paddington (didn’t see any lost looking bears wearing a duffle coat and carrying a suitcase of marmalade) I even managed to ask for a table for one in a restaurant and ordered myself a glass of wine, again without feeling guilty! I did not, however, have egg and chips like Shirley Valentine!

I do hope this is the turning point to Sarah Parkin getting back into some new frame of positive thinking with lots of self-belief and self-value! This doesn’t mean I will be any less caring or supportive of others, it will just mean that I will be kind to myself more often!

Sunday also created a few giggles! Giggle of the day has to be that I now know where they grow feather dusters…….

Thank you for reading

Sarah xx

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Sarah Parkin runs Kids Deserve the Best Nanny Agency, providing support to families with their childcare requirements including wedding day childcare, babysitting and emergency childcare. Area of coverage includes the following regions across the North East of England, Gosforth, Great Park, Jesmond, Heaton, Killingworth, Shiremoor, Longbenton, Holystone, Forest Hall, Morpeth, Cramlington, Ashington, Blyth, Ponteland, Kingston Park, Westerhope, Whitley Bay, Tynemouth, Monkseaton, Wallsend, South Shields, Tynedale, Hexham, Prudhoe, Stocksfield, Corbridge, Consett, Rowlands Gill, Newcastle upon Tyne, Gateshead, Washington, Sunderland, Durham, Wearside, North Tyneside, South Tyneside, Northumberland.